Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hitting the Wall

I hate it when this happens. I am NOT posting a picture of the current mess on my studio wall. Perhaps it isn't such a mess. It's just stuck. I fiddle, I tweak, I scrape, I glaze, I scrub, and the thing remains intractable.

When this happens, it's like the Zen screw. I feel like my entire life's work will founder on this one Waterloo of a painting, and I will never do another one. There's a brand-new blank canvas right next to it, which will stay blank; there's a 95% finished one on the other wall, which will stay not-quite-done forevermore. Yaaaaaargh.

Perhaps I have reached my limit for Leaping Round, this week. After weeks of plodding, working weekends, suddenly my social calendar is full; figure-drawing session and Brooklyn Lyceum arts festival on Friday, auction and Janice's party on Saturday, clients booked in the cracks. New yoga studio, which is a half-hour walk away, so that going to class takes up an entire morning. Expanding client base. Spring arriving. Suddenly I feel as though a non-working moment is a moment Not Lived. The pressure is unbearable.

Evenings like this are what on-line horoscopes were made for.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's just better to step away from these things for a while. Your life is obviously on an up swing, it looks good, and there's plenty of work to be done. Just give it a rest and have faith in yourself. You'll get back to it later and see things with relaxed eyes. Have faith.

Pretty Lady said...

Thank you, Mr. Nelson, this actually helps quite a bit.

Chris C. said...

Um... We're still waiting.

Respectfully and sensitively, of course.