Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hitting the Wall

I hate it when this happens. I am NOT posting a picture of the current mess on my studio wall. Perhaps it isn't such a mess. It's just stuck. I fiddle, I tweak, I scrape, I glaze, I scrub, and the thing remains intractable.

When this happens, it's like the Zen screw. I feel like my entire life's work will founder on this one Waterloo of a painting, and I will never do another one. There's a brand-new blank canvas right next to it, which will stay blank; there's a 95% finished one on the other wall, which will stay not-quite-done forevermore. Yaaaaaargh.

Perhaps I have reached my limit for Leaping Round, this week. After weeks of plodding, working weekends, suddenly my social calendar is full; figure-drawing session and Brooklyn Lyceum arts festival on Friday, auction and Janice's party on Saturday, clients booked in the cracks. New yoga studio, which is a half-hour walk away, so that going to class takes up an entire morning. Expanding client base. Spring arriving. Suddenly I feel as though a non-working moment is a moment Not Lived. The pressure is unbearable.

Evenings like this are what on-line horoscopes were made for.


Mr. Nelson said...

Sometimes it's just better to step away from these things for a while. Your life is obviously on an up swing, it looks good, and there's plenty of work to be done. Just give it a rest and have faith in yourself. You'll get back to it later and see things with relaxed eyes. Have faith.

serena said...

Thank you, Mr. Nelson, this actually helps quite a bit.

jackadandy said...

Um... We're still waiting.

Respectfully and sensitively, of course.